Pondering....

Well we are almost a month into 2013....So far has been good...10 things to ponder...

1. I have lost some weight so YAY!! But not enough so my husband bought Insanity (it's a workout that doesn't require any equipment just your body). We will start on it February 1. IT will be InSaNe LOL 60-days...Can I do it?? Every morning for 60 days....Including during my trip to Florida....

2. My positive attitude is okay, not great, still working on it but it's improving.

3. My blood work is still off. It went from low to high why can't I just be normal...Normal is as normal does I know....

4. Why do non-custodial parents feel it's okay to not pay child support for their child....Do they just think it doesn't concern them because the child doesn't live with them? Do they just think that since the child doesn't go without anything that makes them less obligated to fork out some doe?? Why are you, as a custodial parent, obligated to include the non-custodial parent in EVERYTHING involving the child if that parent doesn't feel the "need" to help out financially??? Money isn't the only important thing a child needs, I know this, but a child can not survive without it (food, shelter, clothing etc) so why is it the one thing the non-custodial parent seems to feel he/she doesn't need to provide???? Seriously??? I will never understand this so it is on my ponder list....

5. How do you survive raising teenagers??? This has been happening for YEARS, Centuries, decades even but I don't understand it. How do so many people survive this?? My kids are 100% better then I was and my mom survived. I have help, my mom didn't, and my kids are pretty good and I am going CrAzY!!!

6. Is it better to be a germ-a-phoebe or let your kids be exposed to all the germs possible?? Is it better for their immune systems to be exposed or not??? I have mixed feelings on this issue....I wasn't bad when my kids where younger but I am horrible now...So will my kids be okay because they where, actually, exposed at a young age or am I harming them by being so cautious...

7. How to stick to a budget?? Almost like how to stick to a diet.... I have a plan in place to be (not totally but close) out of debt by June 2014 and things keep getting in the way of this and it's only been 3-weeks...Do I need to give it time to settle in.....

8. Fear of the future...How do you live in the moment and not fear the future... How do you get over the past and look forward to what's ahead....I have a huge fear of not surviving to see my sons (his is last but my daughters also) 18th b-day and it has no logic behind it except for the fact that the removal of my thyroid has me scared to death....If something where to happen to me before Kaden and/or MaKia turns 18...I don't even what to think about it but it SCARES me to death.....I didn't make the best choice with either of the men they call "dad". I thank god they have Scott but without me they won't have him....It is a scary thought to ponder....

9. Dealing with the unexpected. Life is FULL of unexpected situations. Good and bad, scary and happy. Moving forward after the unexpected happens can be challenging but it can also be rewarding...How do you find the rewarding and ignore the challenging...Need to figure out how to find the positive in EVERYTHING and not dwell on the unexpected/negative.

10 Driving in the snow. People are CrAzY in the snow, how do you keep yourself safe when you have people going 80 miles an hour on snow packed roads. Roads you can't even see 10 feet ahead of you. You can drive as cautiously as possible and there is always that crazy person next to you or behind you that has to ruin the cautious situation....Can't everyone just slow down, breathe and realize what ever they are in such a hurry to get to will wait???

I don't think I will every know the answer to some of these but I still ponder...