Ha Ha Ha that is so funny!! Bringing two families together has to be one of the hardest things I have ever ever done. I don't recommend it to anyone!!! I love these kids and Scott very much. But, I have to say if there is anything on Earth that can tear this family apart it is those four innocent faces right there. I have made SOO many mistakes in my life but this kid thing has to be the TOP!!! (not having them but having them with men I couldn't or wouldn't stay with). If there was only one piece of advice I could give them it would be to WAIT WAIT WAIT to have children and make sure the man you have them with is in it for LIFE!! Blended families happen all over, I know this, but honestly does anyone really survive??? Does anyone really end up sane???? Is there a relationship strong enough, anywhere, to last through raising kids in a blended family expecially teenager??? You either give in to the kids and save your sanity or you struggle with the marriage and hope to God you all make it alive. I am a VERY strong person, I know this because of the experiences life has thrown at me, but this may be my undoing. I have said it before my kids are my biggest accomplishment and joy but they are also my biggest struggle and weakness. If Scott and I make it through the next few years it will be a miracle and if that happens I know we can stick it out for life. I have never felt more lost, confused and frustrated then I do right now. I have NO IDEA what to do with these kids. I have no idea how to get them to be civil let alone nice. I have screwed up so many things in my life I really really hope my kids won't be one of them....
3 comments:
Just a ugly bump girl! Looking back if I gave up when I said to myself, "I HAVE SCREWED THESE KIDS UP ENOUGH" and thrown in the towel (and I definetly had these moments)I would have had MAJOR REGRETS! And... Any one who say's they don't have these same feelings that you are having is not being truthful. It is a MOM thing. So the moral of this story, "NEVER GIVE UP"
My advice to you would be get them to Primary, and Youth Activities. It is SO IMPORTANT. YOU HAVE HELP and they have EXTRA GUIDANCE to function in the world. Sounds too religious I know but it takes a team of people to raise kids. And why wouldn't you want all the help you could get. If they refuse--Oh well, building character isn't about doing things we like. XO
Anyone with kids the ages of your older three would have a similar opinion. The downfall is that you have TWO tweens going through the hard times at the same time. That would drive anyone nuts! I agree with Sharon...now is a good time to get some Jesus/God in their lives. That's the only way I survived being a teenager. It was a YW leader that made a huge impact in the saving of my soul. We are only here to do the best we can. Every mother has a list of regrets and should-a would-a and could-a's. My kids are little and I already have those. What can I do to help you and them?
Aloha Brittany!
This is Robert. First of all, I just want you to know that few people impress me as much as you do. I really mean that. You have amazing fortitude. All of us make choices that might not be the best, but you have made the absolute best of the situation. I am so impressed with your dedication to your husband and your kids. They are extremely lucky to have you and I'm sure they know it (even if they constantly tell you that you are 'ruining their life'!).
I heard something this weekend that might give you some encouragement, because it really helped me. Imagine you are on a cruiseship in the middle of the Pacific. One night the food wasn't quite what you wanted and then the maid forgot to make the bed, or even the captain wasn't as polite to you as you would have liked. Would you jump ship and go it alone in the middle of the ocean because of a few things? Of course not. Our families are the "cruiseships" in this ocean called life. Sometimes it's not much of a vacation, but swimming alone is not going to work either! :)
I don't know a thing about being a parent, but I have a bit of experience being a kid and what I'm most grateful for is knowing that whatever Mike and I did, my parents would always be devoted to each other. Problems came and went, but they were always side-by-side and that was the most reassuring thing they could do for us. I truly believe that if you focus on your relationship with Scott, the relationship with your kids will fall into place as well.
Most of all--remember you're doing a great job. It's easy to see the imperfections because there are so many things that are great! Good luck and know that we're praying for you! Aloha!
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