Reflecting

Laura had a blog post a while back kinda like this and I have to agree w/her. There are those times when the kids are trying to kill each other, telling you they hate you and you are a horrible parent and you feel like everything you do is wrong. You look at those adorable baby pictures and you wonder "What the Hell Happened?" Well I am having one of those weeks. Kenna and Kaden tried to beat each other to death the other day and then Kenna's dad finally told her "no" so she threw a fit like a "terrible two" year old would and told her dad off with her very pleasant mouth. Kia is soooooo emotional that one little thing goes wrong and the water works start and well do I need to say anything about a 15-year old. You are wondering if it is all worth it and if you are cut out for this parent thing. Then there are those times when you hear "I Love You Mommy" "Good Morning" in there cute little groggy voices or even "Good Night Mom" and then their laughter that can brighten even the brightest sun set and their innocent faces w/their 10,000 questions and watching their eyes light up when they learn something new. Or when you are having a conversation about their day and they come up with something totally out of the blue or say a "HUGE" word, that you can barley spell, in the right context and you can't help but laugh at their intelligence. Life has thrown so many curve balls at me and I honestly don't think god should have given me the opportunity to be a parent especially w/out a hand book; but those precious little moments do happen and they make up for all the trying times we go through as parents. They remind me that this is worth it and I must be doing an ok job because they are still breathing. I just hope I can say that in a few years when they are grown up and I don't get to tuck them into bed anymore or read them a bed time story. I hope I can look in the mirror and say "You did a pretty good job as a parent". But until then I feel I will have several more "Had a Bad Day" moments and wonder if I am doing the right thing....